Okay so I am far from being a saint and although my mother may disapprove of other people knowing this little fact but I have been drunk before.  I know you would never have guessed it by looking at me, but I am not perfect!  In fact I have had quite a few nights where you could say I was completely off my face and would probably have been better off staying at home.  Due to some of these nights where thankfully many of my misbehaviors were blacked out of my memory I decided it would be best to try what sober is like again.

So my friends and I went to a club which has been the venue for many of my rather be forgotten moments, only this time I was sober.  While it was not my first time at a club sober, this was my first time in a while to see what the night life is like without the bottle goggles on.  It was different to say the least.  I could feel the stickiness of the dance floor from all the spilled drinks, something I never noticed before while I was doing my Michael Jackson moves.  I could see people in relationships dancing like a stripper on a pole with someone other than their partner and having that guilty feeling of should I be saying something to stop this whereas before I probably wouldn’t have noticed.  Women in tight skimpy outfits with their hooker heels on stacking it on the ground and me having a good laugh” ia ua la that’s what you get for leaving the house wearing that outfit.”

While I love dancing and I used to make the excuse that I was going out to dance and not to drink, the club is not as much fun for me when you can see how drunken people behave.  Yes, you can have a good laugh at other people’s misfortunes but I found that I was also really critical and judgmental.

Guys who when sober are almost Prince Charming like with the looks, the brain, the smile, and the jokes for me turned into dribbling buffoons who can barely get a word out or just ramble on about nonsense.  Yet it was these same buffoons who had only months earlier been knights in shining armor when I was the drunken sailor, with literally the sailor mouth, acts of violence and all.  Who was I to make such judgments when I am not perfect and I have been in their exact same shoes!?

So the moral of my story is that you don’t always realize exactly what you are like when you are drunk, and that being sober does not give me the right to be overly judgmental or critical of others, even if they act like drunken fools drooling on a table and are unable to control where their hands go.  If I don’t like it then I shouldn’t be there in the first place and I am sober enough to drive myself home, unless I am the designated sober driver and my mates need a ride home then be prepared for my in mind critiques of what you are wearing, who you are dancing with, how you are dancing, what you are saying, where your hands are, and who has a complete conversation with you while staring at your cleavage.